Pastor's Web Site Find The Power
I have never revealed much about myself on my website. Revealing personal things (to me) in my Christian ministry and writing takes away from telling others about the love of God. Maybe I have been wrong about this matter of semi-secrecy about myself.
I was born in 1944 in Indianapolis, IN on a snowy day in February. I was born with a facial deformity taking 20 years and 25 to 30 plastic surgeries to partially correct. One or two of the surgeries were done when I was a newborn. One was done when I was three years old. The rest were done between the ages of 13 years and 24 years. For the time the surgical procedures were done, I was blessed with pioneering work under the hands of Dr. Harold Trussler, Sr. in Indianapolis.
I am 65 and I still have noticeable scars from the surgeries. Some deformity remains. As a young person, I lived in unbelievable cringing helpless shame and humiliation until I was in my late twenties. In my twenties, I began to break away from the on-going shame and humiliation. During grade school and high school I was continually immersed in unbelievable emotional hurt. I never dated until I was out of college. God blessed me with a wonderful wife and son.
When I was young, I wanted to grow up because I perceived adults of being free of the heavy burdens I carried. I had friends but not too many close friends. Gerry, Joe Ed, Ronnie, and Nick were the best. These four people have no idea how much they helped me along in my trials. Everyone my age I grew up with would probably be shocked if they knew what I was going through in grade school and high school. All those years I pretended not be affected by my burdens. I was never in sports but was student manager for the basketball team, in band, 4-H, and all kinds of other youth activities. Looking back, God must have been pushing. In many respects, the pushing was worse than awful. My parents and family members of their generation were afraid I would become a recluse, which is what I wanted but they pushed and I was too complacent to revolt against them.
When I was 13 or 14 I started dragging. Everything became physically difficult up to a point. I stopped reading for the most part. I graduated from Purdue with both an Associate and Bachelor's Degree as pretty much a non-reader. When in high school I began to sleep a lot, experienced chronic fatigue, and muscle tiredness or weakness. Over forty years later I was diagnosed with narcolepsy, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia which is a condition of being constantly in pain.
I never held a job for more than 18 months because the combination of narcolepsy, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia burned me out no matter what I tried to do. So many times I considered myself a failure because by all accounts I had failed according to the way the world measures success. When I was young I wanted wealth but wealth has never come...only a level of financial poverty.
Yet in all the pain, hurt, and heartache, Jesus was there. When I was in my middle 30's, the Lord ordered me into the ministry. (His words to me were an ORDER, not a call.) I pastored a small church in the town I lived in, in Indiana, but only for about 18 months. The burdens got me again. I was later ordained by the Church of God headquartered in Anderson, IN in 1997. In 1998 we moved to Tucson at the Lord's unction. At first, we thought moving to a warmer climate would lessen my pain and fatigue but my pain and fatigue have remained.
In 1998 I started the ministry web site you see linked on every blog. The website has become one of the largest Christian sites in the world. By the time I go home to see the Lord, or maybe already, the site will have touched a million hearts.
I suffer every day but Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Now I will get a little preachy. Your life may never be what you want or expect your life to be. Just make sure in the valley of tears you walk, to live your life for Christ. Make your life be what Christ wants and what Christ expects. In the end when there will be no end, gloryland awaits above the clouds. There will be a day where there is no more mourning, death, crying, or pain.
You are never alone in your pain. Christ is with you and within you. Jesus is mine and Jesus is yours too.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord place His healing hands upon you to give you comfort and peace.
Copyright 2009 Rev. Patrick Kelly
